March 16, 2011

I had my wine and an ale which did quite a lot to sooth my stomach, and improve my mood. I ended up having dinner with my mother and I explained what I had said earlier and we came to an understanding.

Later that night I had some more icecreme and left over cake. I fell asleep by 1 am.

I woke up at 11, got some coffee, and had some left over pasta for lunch. I also had some icetea because we were out of spring water; my father brought more home when he got back from work.

My mother asked me if she could keep 10 of the twenty she owed me, since she spent it on a birthday present for herself; I told her I was fine with it since it was her birthday.

I also spoke to my ex for the first time in several days; she was noticeably shaken by the tragedy in Japan which she disclosed had affected her personally. I told her what anyone reading this blog already knows, that my thoughts have been on the victims of this tragedy since it began and that I would make myself available to her for support if needed.  It’s a terrible thing to lose loved ones so unexpectedly and so suddenly in the context of disasters of this magnitude. It’s often hard to reconcile with any world view, and indeed damaging to the very core of an individual’s peace of mind. For these reasons I am sympathetic, perhaps more so than one would expect given the circumstances.

Further musing on the devastation of Japan by earthquakes I’m reminded of a line given by the God Vulcan, legendary cause of earthquakes in Homer’s Iliad. It provides a useful allegory to the indomitable forces of nature against which we are ultimately powerless.

“Goddess (he cried), be patient and obey. Dear as you are, if Jove his arm extend, I can but grieve, unable to defend. What god so daring in your aid to move, Or lift his hand against the force of Jove? Once in your cause I felt his matchless might, Hurled headlong down from the ethereal height; tossed all the day in rapid circles round, Nor till the sun descended and touched the ground. Breathless I fell, in giddy motion lost; The Sinthians raised me on the Lemnian coast”

I had left over ravioli and a glass of wine for dinner; I also spoke to another friend. I told her what transpired between me and my ex, (because she asked me about it) and she reciprocated with a similar story of her own, we also exchanged blogs and she complimented me on my prose. It was nice catching up, she also echoed the view of my mom and one of my other friends that it was more a loss for my ex than me. I don’t disagree with that sentiment except that it matters very little who loses more in the end, the fact is she knows not what she has lost, and I know what I have lost, and that helps neither of us. However time heals all wounds as surely as it devours all things, which will happen sooner is up for debate, what is not is that I will continue on as I have.

That’s a warranted conclusion for the day, if more transpires I will expound upon it tomorrow. I think my father is making cookies again, but shan’t have any for quite a while; I’m not at all hungry.